New projects, new pages

I have created a new blog page.

http://writesomethingfun.blogspot.com

If you feel so inclined be stop by to get updated on my progress with the book and upcoming events.

Affirmations of a middle-aged loon

I've decided, during my down time between employment, that I will start writing again. I am contemplating opening up a Kickstarter campaign in order to crowd-fund my research and efforts.
I will be putting together a development plan and marketing strategy over the next few weeks in order to see if it would be a good use of time, or a waste.

Thanks for reading. Keep an eye out, because when I start writing my book, I'll be posting here as to the progress, thoughts, and generally using this blog as a small inspiration/warmup area before I begin each day.


Hope everyone is having a great week, and thanks again for reading!

Finally have an answer for all of the ongoing pain

After a year of testing, poking, prodding, needles and drugs my neurologist and PM Dr. have finally come to a diagnosis of fibromyalgia set on by my guillain Barre syndrome.

I know it may not sound like a good thing, but for me, to hear from my doctors that they are certain this is what has and is happening and why. It really is a weight lifted to hear them finally have an answer after all of the I don't knows and maybes.

Hopefully Restarting

I am really going to put an effort into updating my blog on a regular basis and completing my story of DX and recovery of GBS as well as other things I am interested / obsessed with.  Stay tooned all.

Busy Busy Busy

Sorry I have not updated in a while. Life has been crazy. The short of it is, in October I had a relapse of GBS. We caught it quick, so a round of IVIG, a blood patch, and a short amount of recovery in PT and I'm back to life again.

Still managing neuro and physical pain from the first bought, but getting better day by day, bit by bit and continuing to put my all in the battle.

I will begin posting more in the up-coming weeks about what I've been up to, continuing the story of my experience, and the parts of recovery and the disease that many people aren't aware of that effect me every single day.

Have a great day, and I hope everyone is having a great holiday season!

Upcoming marathon fund raiser and more

For anyone still paying attention, still reading this. I will being doing a marathon fund raiser soon. This fund raiser will be to save our house.

With medical bills piling up, along with regular cost of living increasing, it has come to our attention in the Rickard household that we have been running at a significant deficit each month.  So, I will be hosting a livestream marathon soon in an effort to raise money to keep from losing our house.

I will post links to the video page as it comes up. Please let your friends know and make a donation if possible. Tune in, and watch the marathon, post questions and comments or call in and get on the live stream that way.

I will post info in an upcoming update as to what the donation page will be, what will be happening during the marathon, and all the other fun details.

As always, thanks for reading, and don't forget to post comments, questions, and anything else below if you feel so inclined.

Continued....

Its interesting...
You begin recovery from something and you are considered better. But, that almost never means you are better. It means you are getting better, not worse. But, you may still be in pain, ill, or even terminal.  Too many times we think since some is not in a hospital, they are fine, and they should act that way.

BattleCry Beanie giveaway

I'll be making one of a kind BattleCry Beanies for a giveaway soon. Keep your eye on my youtube channel for details on how to enter and to see just what a BattleCry Beanie is!

Have a great weekend everyone.

Friday morning Update

Today is Friday the 22nd.  After several stressful weeks and the weekend coming up I am glad that Saturday afternoon and Sunday are clear for me to rest.

 Amongst all the turmoil, aggravation, sadness, and frustrations I turn to my wife and daughter. They both smile at me and it takes me away. They show me love in a home, and I do my best to give them all the love I can.


It's never in the heat of the moment that you can learn from something. It seems it is always a day, week, or even several months past the event that you begin realizing the profound effect it has had on you (or myself since that is ultimately where this is going.)

Having a full time job with insurance. That is the dream for most. And yet, even having the luxury of insurance does not save us from life's real prices. Prices we pay with things other than money or monetary things.

Several weeks ago, I came home from a day at work. The sun was out, traffic seemed to crawl as it always does. The garage door opened with the same mechanical clunking sounds just like it always has.

But, unlike every other day, something small had arrived in the mail. Something unexplainable, and still frustrating to this day.  You see, an interesting process occurs when you deal with hospital billing and insurance companies.

It turns out if an insurance company does not pay a bill within 30, 60, or sometimes 90 days depending on the conditions etc., the collecting party I.E. the hospital has legal ground to pursue the individual for payment.

This wouldn't be so frustrating if the bill this particular case happened to occur with was below say $250.  Heck, I may even pass off a $500 bill if I knew I could be reimbursed for it. But, this particular occurrence landed a bill in our lap that, since insurance had not paid in 60 days, was now my responsibility even though I pay my monthly amount out of my check, I payed full deductible for the year etc., a bill that is nearly $150,000.00.

That's more than my house cost!

Now, I am not scoffing at this bill saying I'm not paying this blah blah blah. Besides, the treatment this cost is tied to, DID save my LIFE no questions asked.  I would gladly pay every penny had I the means.

I sat on the couch and called every number I could find on that bill. I asked every possible way I could for help or assistance from the hospital. And, what I got was nothing. Ran around, questioned, have you asked your friends and family for help? Have you thought about selling your house? Do you have an extra vehicle you could sell to help pay for a portion of the bill?

I am floored at this point. I turn to my wife, who is now more red in the face than I am. It took several weeks before a smile returned to either of our faces. Only our daughter could produce laughter because she is still blissfully ignorant of this cruel world.

I don't know the purpose of this post. Venting, reflection, introspective evaluation on how I handled it. What I do know is that humble pie is a dish I grow tired of.  Working helps, but to what end?

No matter how much I put in, it seems someone is always on the other end taking out 10 times as much 20 times faster.

I hope we can look back on this in out future, my wife and I, and think that it was a bonding time. That was a time when we pulled together as a family, stuck it out, and made it.  All I know at this point is they can bill me all the money in the world, but they can't take my family's love, or my friends kindness.

Curveballs in life are funny sometimes. Especially when the sock you in the eye eh?

Sorry for the Gap!

I apologize for the gap in updates. Been kinda crazy with everything going on. I will be posting updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday starting today. I'll be covering not only my recovery thus far, but continuing the journey I have gone through as well so you can find out just how everything went and how everything is currently going.

If you have any questions please please post them. Comments are greatly appreciated as well, and as always thank you so much for reading and supporting us through all this difficult time!

Also, my Youtube channel will be getting regular updates as well every Tuesday and Thursday. Not sure what about yet. I may start posting walk-throughs and gaming videos, or maybe digital art, and speed painting videos.

We'll see!

Thanks again!

~Will

Amazing update!

I have begun to gain feeling in my legs as well as limited movement. It is PAINFUL like I could not even begin to describe. I will post a full update soon. For now, thank you everyone for your wonderful support. It was your help, combined with everyone else that helped me make it through this incredibly difficult time in my life and my family and I thank you for it.

Daily Thoughts -Day 1

There are times in our lives where a calm understanding comes over you. It is like a transition has occurred and you can make it out, but only barely.
There are times when these moments though calm, quiet, and difficult to notice, have profound and permanent impressions on us.

In these moments we tend to become nervous. We seek distraction from all areas of our lives attempting to forget what may have triggered it. Or, we fight the change clinging to the old way of thinking or acting and become unjustifiably bitter towards the people in our lives that only seek to help and love us.

Change, it can be terrifying, enraging, justifying, explanatory,  exciting.

I love my wife, daughter, family, friends, co-workers and so on. I loved the life I had before my disease. But, the strength this has shown me. The strength I have found within myself when I thought I had none. The fight I found to make it through to see my wife, daughter no matter the outcome. Just the ability to hear my daughter laugh, and my wife scold me for acting like a child. No matter if I was in a wheelchair, or confined to a bed unable to do more than blink and smile, or if I am standing with crutches and splints.

And yet those moments moved through my life as if they never happened. As if they were a breeze through the trees doing nothing more than changing the leaves and leaving a cool spring aroma in the air. The life I have now fits. It feels right, no matter how unfair it seems. And when I could stop distracting myself, and I could stop blaming people and things, and really revel in what I now have.

I embrace the moment, and I prepare for the future, whatever it may be. And I am happy that I have everyone in my life that I now do. I love my family more than I can even understand to explain. I am am prepared for the days ahead.

Getting back on posting, Happy Easter

Im sorry for not posting in the last few weeks. Ive been extremely busy catching back up with everything in normal everyday life. Good.news.is I.start going back to work this coming week.

Happy Easter to all those who practice it. And to everyone else, I hope you had a wonderful weekend and are ready for a new week filled with new opportunities.

Picking Up With Treatments

After the doctor explained the disease, and how it is a lifelong condition with no cure, saying I was nervous and depressed would be a severe understatement.

He began explain a treatment called Plasmapheresis (Yet another treatment so rare its not recognized by the library autocorrect.).

In Plasmapheresis, the blood is removed from the body, at an amount of 1/3 the total volume at a time. It is run through a centrifuge to separate the red blood cells from the plasma. The Plasma is where the antibodies reside. They then replace the removed plasma with a substance called Albumen, a synthetic plasma.

It has to be said now that after being explained how the treatment worked, I was told that Citrate is used as an anti-coagulant to keep your blood from clotting in the system. I informed the doctors that I am allergic to Citrate in its raw form.

This complicated treatments heavily. I struggled through the first treatment as the citrate was pumped through the catheter in my neck, directly into my heart. I was given a heavy dose of Benadryl prior to the procedure, but even with that pre-treatment I still had a severe reaction to the Citrate in my heart. My heart beat dropped to 26 beats a minute, my blood pressure bottomed out, and my breathing nearly came to a complete stop.

I went completely paralyzed for approximately 20 minutes during the treatment. The entire time all I could do was fixate on the respirator machine they had just outside the door waiting to be wheeled in and hooked up along side the rest of the machines already monitoring everything my body could do. The nurses kept slapping my on the chest and reminding me to breath.

After about 20 minutes I was able to breath on my own normally, without having to be prompted to breath.

By that time Rosemary, my wife, made it to the room and I had begun using her as a focal point. Seeing her reminded me of everything I had to fight for. Had she not shown up when she did, I may not have had that umph of energy to pull out of my current condition. I fought as hard as I could to keep consciousness through how terrible it felt to have all the current conditions. My face was ice cold, my chest felt like I had a softball being shoved into it, and I was so nauseous I have no clue how I didn't get sick. But, I fought for my wife, and she reminded me of our daughter, and of Cassidy.

I pulled out of that horrible event, and promptly fell back into the blackness of unconsciousness. When I came to, I must have been doing well enough. I was on several drips, my throat was soar from breathing so erratically, my head felt like it was in a vise, my chest still felt like there was someone standing on it, and I was still sick to my stomach, but I didn't have a breathing tube in my throat, and my wife was still by my side.

We kissed and she said, "Hey! We agreed no dying didn't we?! You can't break that promise!", with a little laugh.

"I know, I was just trying to make the doctors and nurses earn that paycheck." I said with a laugh reverberated in my voice.

And with that the first treatment finished. The doctors and my neurologist came in later that morning to see how I was doing, and go over how they were going to alter the treatment for the next 4 rounds.

Good god, I still had 4 treatments, one every other day, after this one...

Making It Home!

After a long fight in the hospital, and an intense and painful stay at the Rehabilitation Hospital of Indianapolis I am happy to say. "I did it!".

When I made it home it was the best feeling ever.
Managing the medications I have to take seemed daunting at first, but after a few tests, and some creative thinking on how to manage the dosages at what not, I believe we have found a successful way to handle all the pills and injections I have.

I will continue the Road To Recovery portion of this blog shortly. I would just to take this post to say Thank You to everyone for all of the wonderful support, kind words, and everything else you did to make this event in our lives manageable.

With Love and Gratitude
~The Rickard Family

I Get To Go Home And I Have A Face Book Page

Facebook Page for support

I have created a page on facebook for anyone who has a family member, friend or loved one, or who has personally dealt with Guillain Barre Syndrome. It is also a place to honor and pay respect to those who have not survived GBS.

Please take a moment, go to the page and Like it, and post some kind words of support if you have the time. It can be found at the address below.

http://www.facebook.com/ISurvivedGbsAndOmg

A Diagnosis And A New Life To Learn

When we got to Methodist they took me straight to the ER. My wife and mother in-law traveled separate from the ambulance during the transfer.

I met the neurologist about 10 minutes after I was checked into the hospital. He asked me some normal questions and several odd ones. After answering questions for about 10 minutes Dr. Bayne told me he was fairly certain he knew what my affliction was. He said 2 words I had never heard before, but I would become more familiar with than I ever wanted.

“I’m very sure you have something called Guillain Barre” he said with a patient tone to his voice. ***(note: this disease is so rare that Microsoft Word 2010 doesn’t even recognize it. I had to add it to the library.)***

From that moment everything started happening quickly. Before I knew it I was on my side having a spinal fluid test (SFT). The test came back positive for an increase in protein without the presence of an increase in white blood cells; a key attribute in Guillain Barre Syndrome.

From there the doctor had me sent to the ICU. They performed an Electromyogram (EMG) test to confirm the diagnosis. The test showed I had the beginning signs of nerve conduction blocks due to myelin damage. This all began around 6:45 am, and the diagnosis was confirmed around 7:30 PM. By the end of the EMG I had begun losing the feeling in my toes and my legs began to feel like I was running, and not stopping.

The doctors team were sure by the end of the night I would be on a breathing machine because of how aggressive the disease was. The night went by slowly. I had an IV in each arm. One supplied a slow drip of saline to ensure I wasn’t going to become dehydrated. The other was for injecting morphine to help with the increasing pain I was feeling in my legs. The morphine did not make my legs hurt any less; it only made me not care about the pain. By morning my legs felt like they were on fire, but I had enough pain killers in me that I did not care at all.

The doctors came in first thing in the morning. They explained the disease to Rose and me in more detail. They also explained that the pain in my legs was neurological, from the nerves being destroyed by my antibodies. They then explained they had a drug that could block the pain. I loved it, since it made the pain I was feeling stop hurting so much.

With that we began talking about treatment and just how this disease will be affecting us for the rest of our lives.

Time For A Change Of Scenery

The doctor entered my room, and after a few tense seconds he looked at me with a saddened expression and said, "We can't find anything wrong with your CT scan results. Everything came back perfectly fine, except for a slight swelling in your vertebrata.”

With that he went on to explain that they didn’t have a neurology unit and that I would need to head to one via transfer from there.

He left the room to find a free bed at St. Vincent in Indianapolis.  My father, grandfather, mother in-law, and wife all looked at me when the doctor left. I can remember, in detail, each of their expression. They all frightened me except for my wife Rosemary and my father Bob.

Rose’s eyes wouldn’t leave mine. Looking into them, I started remembering the first time I gazed into her eyes. I remembered the cool of that night, the way she smelled, and how nervous I was. We both were lain down at a friend’s house. The Punisher was on the TV, and we were focused on each other. We held each other’s hands, lightly running our fingers over each other’s palms and wrists. Our toes touched each other lightly, and the rest of the world existed outside of us. It was then I knew, looking into her eyes, she would be there forever and I would never leave her side.

My father’s eyes were scared. But, they were strong, as they always are. He made me feel like I was 6 again. I could remember the bicycle I had received. I couldn’t remember what it was for, but I remember my two brothers Robbie and Ben both got one too. I remembered the look on his face when he was holding my handlebars. His eyes were scared to let go, but strong in confidence I could succeed. The look on his face then was the same it was at that moment in the ER.

I can’t explain how I felt in that moment. It was as if someone sucked the air out of the room and stopped time.

After a few minutes in that existence two nurses entered the room. One had an interesting tone to her words when she began speaking.

“Ok hun, we’re going to get you up and walking so we can get you out of here.” She sounded like she was trying to convince me into doing something I had been hiding. Bluntly putting it, I don’t think they believed what I was telling them.

The nurses walked to my bedside and began trying to sit me up. “This isn’t going to work,” I said slightly irritated at their tone, “I can’t walk. My legs aren’t moving if no one told you.” I added in a sharp tone.

“Oh,” one of the nurses said surprised, “you can’t walk?” she asked me as if she were speaking to a child.

You can predict what I wanted to tell this woman. But, I restrained myself in my response.

“No, that’s why I came in. I can’t move my legs at all.” I said, returning the talking to a child tone.

The nurses left the room shortly after that response.

The doctor returned after about 15 minutes. He told me that the hospital I wanted to go to didn’t have any beds available. We went through 3 other hospitals before finally finding an available bed in Methodist.

With that the paramedics came in, transferred me onto another stretcher, and off we went to Methodist Hospital of Indianapolis.

My Guillain Barre Diagnosis

Recorded using my new Rocketfish Webcam Pro HD.